Dear All,
I would like to start by thanking all those who have made this guest blog possible, the academy, my great friends and mentors and of course granny. It's been a long road, but I'm sure you will all agree that all the hard work paid off in the end!
I was so excited to introduce Shaena to my granny. Granny is, without any shadow of a doubt, the funniest person I have ever met and I wanted to share her with my friends. At 91 (sorry granny 39) years of age, she is still on the ball and as witty as ever.
We left Dublin at around 2.00 pm and were hoping to arrive in Ballina at a suitable hour. There were lots of songs sung and jokes made to kill the time... but at the back of my mind I was hoping that granny would be in good form i.e. make us laugh. We arrived in Ballina just before 5.00 pm (which was quite late as most of the shops close at 6.00 pm) and headed straight into see granny. Mam (editor's note: for us mortals who don't have a thick Irish accent, mam is pronounced [MAAAAM] and = mom) made us some tea and cut us some cake and I introduced Shaena to Granny. As you can imagine granny struggled to pronounce this swanky Canadian name, although she was adamant the little polish girl that cuts her hair was also call Shuuna.
We sat for about an hour and chatted about this and that including my love life and how 'even with my boobs hanging out I could not keep a man'.
At approx 5.50 pm I realised that time was an issue and if I was to show Shaena the sights of the town, we needed to move fast. We decided that, whilst down the town, we would get something nice for dinner and granny agreed she would have 'one or two chippies' (you wonder where I got my love of chips from!).
As we were leaving, I asked granny if she would like anything else.... expecting her to say a loaf of bread or 20 blue silk cut. She responded with OH YES, A CAMEL COLOURED COAT. I looked at Shaena, knowing she would be in stitches laughing, and she was. I said granny it is ten to six - most of the shops close in 10 minutes we won't have enough time- she responded 'well I thought you might see something- you know I have no one to do anything for me. I could hear mam in the kitchen washing the dishes!
Laughing, and with time against us, Shaena and myself went on our way to find granny a camel coloured coat (seeing the sights would have to take a back seat). There were only 2 shops open after 6.00 so we headed straight to my fav one.... Penney's. Shaena spotted a camel coloured coat, almost instantly, and I tried on the size 8 while Shaena took photos from various angles so granny could decide if she wanted us to buy it for her the next day.
After a whistle stop tour of 'THE NA' (and a quick delivery of chips to granny) Shaena and myself went to my house and had some dinner and dolled ourselves up for the night on the town. We decided we needed to laugh some more so we wanted to have a few drinks with granny before going to the pub so I grabbed some vodka and Shaena took some cans of beer from under the sink (out of date I might add!) and headed back to grannys at about 9.00 pm.
We walked into granny's bedroom and found her in her silk pajamas, with pearls around her neck and a wine glass full of brandy in her hand. Her eyes light up when she saw us. Shaena wore a lovely purple top and jeans and I was wearing my new size 8 jacket and leggings. Granny soon asked us about the coat and Shaena showed her the photos. She decided it was perfect and all that was left to decide was what size to buy it in!
Granny weighs about 6 1/2 tone but is convinced she is a size 12- I wanted her to buy a size 8 but this was proving difficult. I said granny, this jacket is a size 8 and I have loads of room. She looked at me, I knew that look- she was about the let out a corker! She said ' loads of room, your boobs are pouring out of it dear'. I looked at Shaena and we both laughed - granny was right! We compromised and granny said that she would buy the coat in a size 10. Hungover, Shaena and I bought the coat for granny the next day.
If you would like to hear more granny stories, let me know - as there are lots more and I am ready to tell them.
Chat soon x x x x
Marvelous, keep em coming.
ReplyDeleteP.s I thought you called them chippers?